When it comes to personal lubricants, it seems everyone has a personal opinion. One slide does not fit all. Depending on your age, hormones, relationship status, what toys you use, your needs will be different. Whether you use lubricant simply to add to the enjoyment of sex, or really have issues with lubrication and arousal, it’s good to have a ‘go to’ product. There is certainly no shortage of choices. Your local pharmacy or grocery store probably has at least a dozen or more to pick from. Visit a grown-up toy store and you may find upwards of a hundred different varieties, with exotic flavors and promises of performance enhancement.
There are three main categories of personal lube: water-based, silicone-based and oils. For purposes of discussion, we’ll talk about each of these separately, but be aware there are products on the market that are combinations. Read the label. (One of my hobbies is cruising the personal products aisle at pharmacies just to see what’s new. I’ve learned to bring my reading glasses with me. Yes, dear reader, being GynoGirlfriend is not as glamorous as you might think.)
Here at GynoGirlfriend, we endeavor to be a voice of reason in the vast jungle of online sex talk. One thing I discovered researching this piece is that reliable information on this topic can be tough to find. The experience of different individuals with any given lubricant tends to be well, individual, and there are plenty of sex bloggers talking about just that. And no, I am not going to tell you what I use (My partner has been pretty clear with me: I can either write about us having sex, or we can have sex. I choose the latter.). Also keep in mind that much, if not most, of the information found online is commercially-driven or influenced. Finally, there is an awful lot of online advice that I see repeated from site to site that sounds good and science-y, but really doesn’t hold up to close scrutiny. What follows is my best effort to separate fact from fiction.
*Please note that brand names are listed for illustration purposes only. GynoGirlfriend does not endorse any particular products.
Water-based lubricants. (KY, Astroglide, PreSeed). By far the most commonly used and widely available, water-based lubricants make a good sense for a lot of reasons. If you’re using latex condoms to prevent STDs or pregnancy, water-based lubricants generally make a good choice. For convenience and ease of clean-up, they can’t be beat. Lubricants in general do tend to increase the comfort and pleasure of sex play, and for condom users, compatible lubricants may enhance the safety by reducing friction and the chances of breakage. Furthermore, water-based lubricants are always a safe bet for use with sex toys. One factor to consider is consistency. Some prefer a thicker consistency gel for staying power, whereas liquids may have a more natural feel.
Most of derive their slipperiness from glycerin. While it tastes sweet, glycerin is not a sugar. Many sex health sites make the dubious claim that glycerin promotes yeast overgrowth; no compelling evidence exists to support this (at least that I can find). Likewise, the claim that glycerin promotes drying effect on the vaginal mucosa doesn’t hold water either. Another common active ingredient is propylene glycol. (Yes, that’s antifreeze; it’s found in minute quantities in a variety of foods and skin products.) If you’ve had difficulties with irritation following use of a glycerin-based product, switching to one containing propylene glycol might be worth a try.
For those with skin sensitivities, it might be wise to stick with products free of synthetic fragrance. Likewise, if you’re the sensitive type, steer clear of the stuff with flavoring or “warming” properties. Several manufacturers have paraben-free varieties as well. Despite lack of concrete evidence linking adverse health outcomes and parabens, lingering concerns about the estrogenic activities of these compounds continue to be expressed in some circles. Again, if you’re someone who struggles with chronic irritation, it may be worth eliminating these as a potential source.
Another factor to consider is the “osmolarity” (which is a measure of concentration) of the lubricant. More “hyperosmolar” products (meaning substances with higher concentrations of particles than body fluids, such as KY Jelly and Astroglide) certainly have more potential to be irritating to sensitive tissue than isotonic lubricants (meaning the same concentration of particles as body fluids, such as PreSeed).
The type of lubricant you choose is also important if baby-making is on your to-do list. Turns out, hyperosmolar products kill sperm about as effectively as spermicide (However, please don’t use them as a contraceptive!). Turns out, both glycerin and propylene glycol also interfere with sperm motility, as does good old saliva (This kind of factoid makes me wonder how we survived as a species.). For this reason, fertility experts usually recommend using a lubricant with hydroxyethyl cellulose as the active ingredient (PreSeed, ConceiveEase), mineral oil or canola oil (more about oil later).
In response to consumer demand, there have been a number of “all natural” products introduced onto the market. Many are a combination of aloe vera with some type of vegetable gum (xanthum, guar, locust bean, etc.) For the do-it-yourself crowd, there are recipes online for homemade lube from boiling flax seeds (careful not to overcook or it will turn out more like hair gel!). The main drawback with these, like other water-based lubricants, is quick evaporation. But if you’re averse to synthetics, these are definitely worth a try.
Pros: Can be used with condoms. Least messy. Relatively inexpensive.
Cons: Dry out quickly. Glycerin/Propylene glycol products are not fertility friendly. May contain potential irritants.
Silicone-based lubricants. (Wet, Swiss Navy, Pjur) For those desiring a more long-lasting lubricant, particularly for use with latex condoms, a silicone-based lubricant may be a good choice. You’re not likely going to find a big selection of these in the grocery store. You can certainly buy them online if you prefer the privacy, but do yourself and your local economy a favor by taking a trip to your local adult toy store. The other advantage of shopping in a real store is the ability to try-before-you-buy, as many stores will have testers available. Don’t feel game for a solo field trip? Make it part of a day out with a favorite gal pal, or perhaps turn it into a date night. (Arrive separately. Your eyes meet across the aisle, you compare notes while sampling testers. Then you hurriedly make your purchase and depart together before you’re overwhelmed by passion, possibly leaving your reading glasses in a crumpled heap on the floor. Or, just order it online.)
Silicone-based lubes act and feel like oils, but are safe to use with latex condoms. This can work to your advantage, particularly if you like to play in the water. For those with troubles lubricating or painful intercourse, the longer-lasting effects of silicone products may provide some welcome relief. Silicone is not so hot if it ends up spilled on your clothing or linens. Take heart: for the domestic goddesses among us, there plenty of suggestions online for how to tackle those stubborn stains (While GynoGirlfriend may aspire to be a domestic goddess, sadly, GynoGirlfriend is not a domestic goddess. Laundry tips are not my department.).
The main downside of silicone is that it degrades other things made of silicone, such as sex toys, as well as vaginal medicines packaged in silicone delivery systems such as the contraceptive ring (NuvaRing) or vaginal estrogens (Estring, Femring) used for menopause treatment. Surface degradation causes these silicone products to take on a sticky feel, and can promote adherence of bacteria. True allergic reactions to silicone seem to be uncommon, but like a lot of the water-based lubricants, many of these products contain other potential irritants that you may wish to avoid.
Pros: Condom compatible, longer lasting
Cons: Messy. May damage other things made from silicone. More expensive. Effect on fertility unknown. May contain potential irritants.
Oils. Have you and your partner been together long enough to get rid of the condoms? Have pain from poor lubrication that’s not relieved with water-based lubricants? You might consider giving an oil a try. Oils frequently get a bad rap because they really aren’t safe to use with latex condoms: oil erodes latex and greatly increases the chance of breakage. This is absolutely true. What seems less obviously clear is the mantra that oil increases the risk of “bacterial infections” (by which I’m guessing they mean bacterial vaginosis or BV, the most common type of bacterial vaginal infection). While I wouldn’t necessarily chuck this one in the dustbin of sexual mythology, the evidence behind this advice is hardly overwhelming. In the few studies I did find that specifically addressed use of different vaginal products and BV risk, the association between the use of oil-based lubricant and BV was fairly weak.
I found very little regarding the safety of plant-derived oils, such as coconut oil, which seems to be a fav (at least this week) among the online crowd. Suffice it to say, we’re in a bit of unchartered territory here. There certainly are some women who don’t get adequate relief from dryness with the water-based products. Especially for those who are averse to synthetics, a plant-derived oil might be a reasonable choice. Oils also have the advantage of being cheap, and some are even fertility-friendly (mineral oil, canola oil). However, if you’re prone to BV (you know who you are), it may be best to steer clear of oils down under. BV can also increase risk of pregnancy complications, so it might also be wise to avoid their use while pregnant.
Pros: Inexpensive. Long-lasting. Some are fertility-friendly
Cons: Not compatible with latex condoms. Messy. May cause irritation. May increase risk of bacterial vaginosis.
Still confused about what lubricant is best for you? Have you tried everything and are still struggling with dryness or discomfort? Get thee to your gyno, first of all to make sure there’s not a medical condition, such as an infection, that may be contributing to your woes. Hopefully, s/he will have some helpful advice, or at least be able to point you in the right direction. For the rest of you, a little self-experimentation often leads to exciting discoveries. So get busy (and feel free to share your findings in the comments!).
References/Resources
Brown, J. Intravaginal Practices and Risk of Bacterial Vaginosis and Candidiasis Infection Among a Cohort of Women in the United States. Obstetrics & Gynecology. April 2013, pp 773-780.
Adrianes, E. Mucosal Irritation Potential of Personal Lubricants Relates to Product Osmolality as Detected by the Slug Muscoal Irritation Assay. Sexually Transmitted Diseases. May 2008, pp 512-516.
Agarwal, A. Effect of an Isotonic Lubricant on sperm collection and sperm quality. Fertility and Sterility. May 2013, pp 1581-6.
Vaginal and Vulvar Comfort: Lubricants, Moisturizers, and Low-dose Vaginal Estrogen. www.menopause.org
Lubricant Use in the Fertility Patient. Asrm.org
Kinkly.com
Video demonstration for making flax seed lubricant, www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbAwRYFAPEo
