GynoGirlfriend 101

GynoGirlfriend.com is a love child that’s been in the incubator for quite some time.  An Ob/Gyn physician since 2004, GynoGirlfriend represents a marriage of my passions:  women’s empowerment, medicine, and writing.  It’s only in the past few months that I’ve had the time to devote to turning my vision into a reality.  Today marks the official launch of GynoGirlfriend’s social media campaign, our “coming out” party, so to speak.  While most of what you’ll read here is not personal in nature, I wanted to start out on a personal note.  There’s no shortage of information about sex on the internet, so why should you read GynoGirlfriend?  Let me begin by explaining why I’m writing GynoGirlfriend.  To do so requires me to share a little of my own personal history.

The how-I-got-here story begins when I finished my bachelor’s degree at the University of Kansas.  It was 1991 and I was a crunchier-than-thou-hairy-legged-vegan-feminist.  Like a lot of us, I experienced a political awakening during my college years; I cut my activist teeth in reproductive rights and advocacy for survivors of domestic violence.  But I lacked purpose.  At 22, I was sure the world needed me to help save it, but I had no idea how to direct my passion into my outer purpose.  With no appetite for more academics, my boyfriend and I packed our worldly possessions into a Toyota pickup and headed west.  In the midst of the violence of the Rodney King riots that put Los Angeles into a state of turmoil, we landed on the beaches of Venice and Santa Monica.

My wanderings led me to explore massage therapy.   I took my first anatomy and physiology classes, but also was exposed to the traditions of Shiatsu and Qi Gong.  I was discovering an entirely new way of understanding the human condition.  But I soon became frustrated by the limitations of what I could do as a bodyworker.  I couldn’t escape the nagging sense that I wasn’t living to my full potential.

Initially, I explored chiropractic, naturopathy, and traditional Chinese medicine.  I went back to school to complete the necessary science prerequisites, while supporting myself as a bodyworker.  Ultimately, I chose the conventional medicine path because, in my idealistic twenty-something mindset, it allowed me to reach the most people and do the most good.  Inspired by the likes of Andrew Weil and Deepak Chopra, I knew I could find my place in medicine too.

When I was ready to start down the medical school path, my home state of Kansas took me back.  My plan was to be a family physician, to work on the front lines of primary care.  But I fell in love with Obstetrics and Gynecology.  My undergraduate degree was in Women’s Studies; family planning and safe childbirth are cornerstones of basic human rights for women.  Plus, men can be lousy patients, particularly if you’re a not-unattractive young woman.  Women’s health was a natural fit.

I think most of us who’ve been through                physician training make it out of medical school with our ideals (mostly) intact.  Residency is a much different story.  If you wonder how all those fresh-faced, altruistic kids who enter medical school get turned into arrogant, grouchy, know-it-all doctors, look at residency training (for starters).  I recall vividly my first week as an intern on the oncology service at Washington University.  Mid-way through the first of many 100-hour work weeks, I got publicly scolded for not understanding the nuances of a patient’s chemotherapy regimen when I hadn’t had time to shower in 3 days.  I wouldn’t exactly say my dreams died in residency, but they lapsed into a coma.  At the end of those 4 years, with medical school debt and an 8 month-old baby, I was ready to make a comfortable living and enjoy the fruits of my labor.  After all, I’d earned it, right?

My first job out of residency was with an Ob/Gyn group in the suburbs of Denver.  I felt that for the first time ever, I was living my passion.  I was growing by leaps and bounds in skill and experience.  I loved my patients, and most of them seemed to love me right back.  But the business realities of practicing in a small group setting began to intrude more and more on the work.  My partners and I grew further apart on money matters. After seven years, I wasn’t willing to compromise anymore. Then came the Affordable Health Act.

There’s a lot that’s great about Obamacare; generally speaking, I’m a fan.  I made the decision, as did many doctors, that the best way to adapt was to join a large health care organization.   With that in mind, I approached a local hospital to pitch a plan to open an office in my neighborhood.  Along with two nurse midwife colleagues, we opened the doors to our clinic in 2011.  By 2013, we were so busy we had to begin turning away patients.  Of course, there were challenges to overcome; I would describe my tenure in corporate medicine as a cross-cultural experience.   But for the most part, I was allowed to take care of patients as I saw fit, so the loss of control over business matters seemed an acceptable compromise.

Then, in March of this year, I was informed by management that the company would not be renewing my contract.  Services no longer required.  Downsized.  Laid off.  Restructured. Canned.  I was given three weeks to wrap up my practice and pack up my things.

In the time since then, I’ve done a lot of soul searching.  Is there a place for me in this fractured, profit-driven, sick mayhem we call a health care system?   In an era where the percentage of physicians who are experiencing burnout is greater than those who aren’t, is there a way to connect with patients (a.k.a. people) in an authentic way? Am I forever resigned to be a bill collector for insurance companies or a cog in a corporate health care machine?

The privilege of sharing with patients the most intimate parts of their lives, the relationships we build, sharing their victories and their frustrations is what turns me on.  It’s what has sustained me through the trials and frustrations these past few years.  GynoGirlfriend.com represents the road back for me:  I’d like it to be a two-way street, a conversation.

The website (in its current state) is primarily a blog.  Most of what you’ll find are based on what I describe as the “two hour conversations.”  These are the “Oh, by the way…” questions people bring up at the end of their sessions and I wish I could block out the rest of my afternoon to talk about.  At the end of each article, there’s a place to add comments or ask questions.  Please add comments and ask questions.  In the interest of keeping the conversation respectful and relevant, comments will be moderated.  Keep in mind, this is a work in progress.  I’ve tortured most of my close friends with requests to read and re-read everything I’ve published here.  Their feedback has been invaluable in shaping the content in its current form.  It’s not perfect.

Email is the best way to send a question or suggest a topic (visit our Contact page).  I want to know from you what you’re curious about, what your worries are, how GynoGirlfriend can best meet your needs.  Please be aware, we’re navigating the legal minefield that is the 21^st century:  I can’t give medical advice online, but I’ll do my best to get to the heart of your question. (See “How to Get the Most from GynoGirlfriend” on our About page for more information.)

GynoGirlfriend is not going to be for everyone.  Like most of my patients, I expect my readership will be educated, middle-income, heterosexual women age 25-50, living in the US.  This is the group I have the most experience addressing, heck, it’s the demographic I belong to.  As they say, you really can’t be all things to all people, but at the very least, I would hate for anyone to feel harmed by or excluded from the conversation because of their age, race, disability, gender identity or sexual orientation.  I hope to grow in my understanding and ability to communicate with people of different backgrounds as a result of our conversations.  Thanks in advance for giving a girl a hand here.

With that in mind, I hope you find something here that enlightens, informs, or, at the very least, gives you a giggle.  Like it.  Share it.  Happy reading.